Drummer Jokes

Percussionists and Drummers are the object of many jokes, often impugning their musicianship and/or their intelligence. These are naturally unfair generalizations but are enjoyed by many drummers and non-drummers alike. If you have a joke, please email it to us so we can add it to the site! Enjoy!

Q: What did little Johnny’s mother tell him when he said “I want to be a drummer when I grow up?”
A: “Johnny, you can’t do both.”

Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
A: he had to break the window to get the drummer out!

Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummer’s car?
A: Take the Domino’s Pizza sign off the roof.

Q: What’s the difference between a drummer and government bonds?
A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

Q: What does a drummer say when he gets to his paying gig?
A: “Do you want fries with that?”

Q: Why can’t a gorilla play drums?
A: They’re too sensitive.

Q: What do you say to a drummer in a 3-piece suit?
A: “Will the defendant please rise…”

Q: Why do drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don’t disgrace themselves in the parade.

Q: Why do bands have bass players?
A: To translate for the drummers.

Q: What’s the difference between a drummer and a bag of garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

Q: Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
A: So you don’t have to retrain the drummers.

Q: How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
A: The knock always slows down.

Q: How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?
A: Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: “Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?”
A2: Only one, but he’ll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can’t just be pushed in.
A3: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
A4: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
A5: None. They have a machine to do that.

Q: What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: With a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once.

Heard backstage: “Will the musicians and the drummer please come to the stage!”


A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, “I’d like to look at the accordions, please.”

The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says “All our accordions are over there.”

After browsing, the drummer says, “I think I’d like the big red one in the corner.”

The store owner looks at him and says, “You’re a drummer, aren’t you?”

The drummer, crestfallen, says, “How did you know?”

The store owner says, “That `big red accordion’ is the radiator.”

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer.

Study Shows Percussion Improves IQ Scores of Children

The List of Benefits from Playing the Drums Continues to Grow

Improved IQ scores can now officially be added to the ever-growing list of benefits from playing drums. A recent study shows that playing the drums or other percussion instruments actually improves IQ scores of children. While previous studies have hinted that musical training improves a child’s literacy and math skills, this is the first time that a study has shown that one’s intelligence level can be improved by drumming.

“Playing the drums makes the brain think in a way that very few activities can,” said Pat Brown, International Drum Month chairman and Percussion Marketing Council co-executive director. “Being able to understand musical notes and dissect how rhythms work and go together is a very complicated thought process. The most recent study shows that being constantly exposed to this type of brain activity can actually improve one’s IQ level.”

According to the study by E. Glenn Shallenberg at the University of Toronto, IQ test scores of six-year-old children significantly improved after receiving drum lessons. Shallenberg recruited a group of 144 six-year-olds and separated them into four groups: those receiving drum lessons, voice lessons, drama lessons, and no lessons. Children receiving the drum lessons showed significant improvement in their IQ tests, gaining an average of seven IQ points. Meanwhile, children receiving voice lessons increased six points, those receiving drama lessons increased five points, and children receiving no lessons improved four points. In his article in Psychological Science, Shallenberg concluded that musical training, in particular, was responsible for the extra IQ points.

Among the other benefits of playing the drums are improved muscle coordination and brain activity, physical therapy and stress relief, improved social skills such as teamwork, self-esteem and discipline, and improved abstract thought processes. The benefits of drumming is one of things the PMC is confident that participants will get out of International Drum Month in November.

This year’s PMC International Drum Month theme is “Discover Your Inner Drummer,” which the PMC hopes will motivate and encourage people of all ages, cultures and musical backgrounds to become drummers. The group will bring its message to the public through a variety of print and broadcast media during November – specifically aiming for increased visibility and participation from the virtually untapped teen, female, baby boomer and Latin communities.

Created on 04/21/2006 03:41 PM by Admin
Updated on 05/06/2006 01:58 PM by Admin

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